#9

Detachable heads aren't really my thing, but I'm here, so I'll do the review.

It's an intriguing concept. Aristotle used to argue that the seat of consciousness was in the heart; perhaps he was right, and all those who claim it's in the brain are just wrong.

The story develops fairly well through dialog and exposition. The ending left me cold, with a lot of unanswered questions; this feels more like the first part of a longer tale. The protagonist is entirely too calm and accepting of all this. Maybe more unease, more sense of wonder, more disbelief on his part would make it more real for me. The mood is neither horror nor humour and perhaps you should choose the latter.

Technically--spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.--it's better than average. You've a couple of run-on sentences, such as the one beginning "She nodded..." and the one starting "However, despite...". They could be more effectively made into shorter sentences. There's at least one comma fault (aka comma splice), in the sentence starting "You have a very nice...". You've used a couple of phrases that IMO should be hyphenated (e.g. "get-together") and a few parts that IMO would be better left out (e.g. "as it then glided...to the cashier") but you'll catch those if you look.

Put this aside for a week, then come back and do a good edit and polish. You might even convince me to read another headless adventure.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .