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Review #4625618
Viewing a review of:
 Take Flight  [E]
A short prose about the desire of complete freedom.
by Eleanor
Review of Take Flight  
Review by Dee
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" *Boat2*


Hello Eleanor. I'm Dee. I saw this short piece of prose in the newbie review area, and it caught my eye.

Title

The title, Take Flight, serves this piece well enough. It is simple and direct. Although I'd like to note that the piece seems to describe the sky and all its attributes as much as the feeling of flight.

Descriptive Writing

Now, this is where you do very well in describing not only the idea and feeling of flight, and how you want your audience to feel, but also the environment, the colors, and the way you see the sky in all its beauty.

Tone/Flow & Pacing

The lovely thing about this piece is the tone. Very light and airy, as if we are floating on a cloud, seeing the through your eyes, not simply words on a page. The pacing works nicely, flowing easy, as one sentence slides into the next. The only words that seemed a bit disruptive to that flow an pace were the words "for instance."

Punctuation/Spelling & Grammar
A spot or two that would do with a comma, also a period to break up a long sentence might improve the flow even more.

Example: It is a curious color, the cloud. I decided dreamily, drumming my fingers on the wall.

*StarR* FINAL THOUGHTS *StarR*

This is a very nice piece of prose. It could easily be a paragraph in a novel of some type. Either way, I enjoyed reading it. Nice job.




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