%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4627796 |
 |  | Winter Roses  [13+] A door, a gift of roses , a couple, an old lady, a young man. How are they connected?  |
| (4.5)| Review of Winter Roses by Kare Enga Initial Impression: This is a very different take on the picture prompt. To have two ghosts (if that's what they are) as the central characters is a bit unusual and rivals the standalone door as the mystery that drives your chapter. And who are the visitors that seem to be able to see the ghosts? It's mystery piled upon mystery and the reader is going to be almost forced to read on to discover the answers. Which is exactly what a first chapter is supposed to achieve, of course. Title: A good title, in that it highlights the roses as important in the story but gives nothing away. And that's without mentioning that roses don't grow in the winter - another mystery! Content: Not a great deal happens in this chapter but there is plenty of interest, thanks to the mysteries and the almost dreamlike visits from people who may be connected to the deceased. The door has opened only once but we are not allowed much of a glimpse of whatever is on the other side. And this makes its easy surrender to the final visitor more intriguing. What is it about him that makes the door yield without difficulty? So this first chapter is about setting up the mysteries that are going to be woven together and explained in the rest of the book. Style: The chapter is written in a simple, bare style that is entirely appropriate to its content. There is very little description and no explanation, and this heightens the air of mystery. This matter-of-fact style works very well in the chapter but may not do so well in the chapters that might follow one day. One can play one's cards close to the chest for a while but they have to be revealed eventually. If the minimalist style is followed for too long, the reader will become irritated and perhaps turn away. There are no grammatical errors or typos evident and it's clear that you can write very well. The one quibble I might mention is that, in writing a book, you would have to bend a little in your attitude towards the reader. To remain obstinately obscure will put readers off in time. Obviously, I say this because I've read a lot of your work; it's not evident from this brief chapter. Flow/Pace: Nothing wrong here - everything flows along at a steady pace and there are no trip ups at all. You know where you're going and you get there on time and without detour. Suggestions: Only what I have already mentioned. It would make a very gripping book, I think. Overall Impression: Well, I'd really like to know how you'd bring all this together in the book that supposedly follows. Which means you've achieved the aim of a first chapter - to get the reader to carry on into the second chapter. An extremely competent and tantalising entry to the contest.   Beholden  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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