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Review #4628358
Viewing a review of:
 Cold Dragon  [13+]
Entry for Monsters Under the Bed
by Graywriter
Review of Cold Dragon  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)



Hello Graywriter,

I am reviewing this story/poem for the following contest:
"Monsters Under The Bed - CLOSED"   by Lilith of House Martell

Prompt: "The North Wind Doth Blow"
1. Keep "poor thing" in the second line of your poem.

2. Maintain the Syllable count: 10, 10, 10, 10.
2a. You may write up to three stanzas, a total of 12 lines.

3. Put your own dark twist on the poem.
Your version can be mysterious, dark, or horror.

*Type* This review has no bearing on the outcome of the contest. Reviewing the entries gives me the opportunity to take a closer look.

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*Checkb* Overall Impression:

This was a fun and cute poem! I mean who doesn't like dragons, right?
While funny it was also a bit sad because this dragon lost his fire!

*Checkb* Grammar and Mechanics:

*Checkg* - 10 syllables per line?
*Checkg* - "poor thing" kept in the poem?
*No* - Does the poem have a dark spin?


*Checkb* Closing thoughts:
Let me be clear on one thing - I really enjoyed this poem. As I read this, I could see this beautifully illustrated in my mind and would make a wonderful children's poem. I think to make it dark, mysterious, or horror-filled as the contest indicates, perhaps he could be trying to roast a person, lol.

Side note and completely unrelated:
*Monster3* Including the line count at the end of your poem is a good habit to get into. This contest did not require it, but many do. Same with stories and word counts.

*Monster3* Great job selecting genres. You may even want to consider changing "Contest Entry" to "Children's". The genres are important when being considered for a Quill Award. ("The Quills" )


As a small thank you for your entry, I am enclosing a few gift points.


Kindest Regards, Lilli

Thank you for sharing your work.



***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2021 @ 9:18am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4628358