*Magnify*
◄     December     ►
1969
SMTWTFS
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4628359
Review #4628359
Viewing a review of:
Le Voyage Magnifique  [18+]
A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.
by Dave
         Review for entry/chapter: "Poor Thing" 
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)



Hello Dave,

I am reviewing this story/poem for the following contest:
"Monsters Under The Bed - CLOSED"   by Lilith of House Martell

Prompt: "The North Wind Doth Blow"
1. Keep "poor thing" in the second line of your poem.

2. Maintain the Syllable count: 10, 10, 10, 10.
2a. You may write up to three stanzas, a total of 12 lines.

3. Put your own dark twist on the poem.
Your version can be mysterious, dark, or horror.

*Type* This review has no bearing on the outcome of the contest. Reviewing the entries gives me the opportunity to take a closer look.

divider for pages


*Checkb* Overall Impression:
I have one word for mom - sunscreen! *Rolling*
This is a cute poem and will likely resonate with many readers as we are all experiencing abnormal heat these days!

I liked the dark spin you put on this and can easily 'see' it in my mind. Poor Mom! It might not happen in South Florida with all of our humidity, but she'd definitely sizzle! This was a lot of fun, Dave.

*Checkb* Grammar and Mechanics:

*Checkg* - 10 syllables per line?
*Checkg* - "poor thing" kept in the poem?
*Checkg* - Does the poem have a dark spin?

Spelling and grammar look great.

*Checkb* Closing thoughts:
As a small thank you for your entry, I am enclosing a few gift points.


Kindest Regards, Lilli

Thank you for sharing your work.



***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2021 @ 1:59pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4628359