Hello {suser:

As a co-participant in "CLOSED: Merit Badges for Fun Raffle " , it is my pleasure to review your contest/activity entry.

Overall Impression:
It's so awesome that you participated in the WDC Birthday Bash Blog! I really wanted to, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up. looks like you and your team did a great job and I hope you had fun, too!

The prompt, an inconvenient birthday, was an interesting one. The character in your entry just was not in the mood for celebrating with the pressing deadline; that was clear. In such a short entry, you managed to make the mood very clear. Great job!

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
A couple minor things I spotted:

“Happy Birthday, cheri!” trilled another well wisher.
I believe well-wisher should have a hyphen.

I could, I carved myself out of the conversation trying not to hang up or cut her off, but this particular aunt could talk for days if given the chance.
Insert a comma after the word conversation.

With my ear pasted to the phone I jumbled myself into a jacket and gathered my gear.
A comma is needed after the word phone.

Closing Comments:

This was a fun entry to read and I'll have to go back and read the others too!



Thank you for sharing your work.


***Disclaimer***
The comments herein are just my humble opinions. Use whatever is useful; discard the rest. I'm not an editor, proof-reader, or any of the like. When I read and review, I am reading as a 'reader', to be entertained. You know your work better than anyone else! If I make a suggestion or a comment, it is meant in the spirit of 'helping' and I welcome the same when people review my work.


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .