Hi Bradley,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of anticipation and anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if Colin and Nita will find any trouble on their patrol. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The story is about two sentries who are protecting a restricted area in their home. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.