Hi M. S. Bird,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of anxiety. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering if the man at the bar will get any trouble from the man playing pool. They will read to the last word to find out. The plot its straight forward and moves along logically. In the story, a man tries to forget about his life for awhile when his past ends up standing right before him. The conflict is defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.