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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4648046
Review #4648046
Viewing a review of:
 Rain  [E]
This is a short poem about the secrets of rain, and what I wonder about it.
by Idek
Review of Rain  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hallo!
This one came up on 'Random Reads'.

1. The title, brief description and genres work for the poem.
2. The verse structure and words used echo your message and emotions.
3. You may want to change the font, and consider WritingML like size, colour and centre.
4. In terms of the poem itself:
a. I love the idea of the rain pouring out emotions and you grappling with these. That's a beautiful metaphor.
b. I was a bit confused though. Is the rain pouring love for you, or love that you want to give someone else and can't?
c. The rhyme scheme is a bit patchy. Sometimes you have natural rhyme, sometimes forced rhyme and sometimes the same word. Once, there's no rhyme at all. You may want to look at standardising this.
d. I think this idea has a LOT of potential. You could work more on it and make it a brilliant piece, you have the seed there!

Thanks for sharing this
Write On,
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