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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4649403
Review #4649403
Viewing a review of:
 
Brittle Dance  [E]
Picturing a performance
by Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness
Review of Brittle Dance  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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"The WDC Angel Army
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Hallo!
I saw this on the newsfeed and decided to check it out.

The title and brief description work for the poem. I suggest you pick one more genre ('entertainment', maybe) to give it more exposure.

This poem can be read at so many levels!

On the one hand, it can be enjoyed as a piece of writing, with the alliteration and rhythm and some rhyme. On the other, it can be seen as a word picture of a performance. And then there is the interpretation - is this a symbol for what every entertainer's business is about?

I love the use of the word 'shadowless'.
It's natural to have a shadow. Adjusting the light so that there appears to be no shadow is trickery. Is all entertainment about trickery, therefore, every supposed blemish hidden, until garishly exposed? Actually, I'd have liked to see the 'shadow' return somewhere at the end of the poem, overwhelmingly, taking things over.

My other suggestion would be for WritingML - font, size, centre, line-space, to enhance the impact of the poem.

Thanks for sharing this one!
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