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 Review #4650329 |
 | Two brothers (Working Title)  [13+] Billy has extraordinary powers but wants nothing to do with a super life anymore  |
| (5.0)  Reader's Reaction: I love your descriptions, and the way you made Billy stand out from the crowd. Once a well known person, now a broken down man who just tries to live day by day. He's tired with everything connected to his super powers, but knows how to use them when he needs to. Love this story! Characters/Dialog: The characters are well defined, especially Billy, the main character. I'm curious on why you named this story, "Two Brothers?"The dialog was well done, it seemed real and carried the story-line to its conclusion.  Emotion/Mood/Atmosphere: The emotion was speculative, apprehensive, pessimistic, and somber. Billy's body felt broken, hearing his bones crack whenever he sits or gets up.The mood was moody, pensive, and frustrated. The atmosphere was quiet most of the time until something unexpected happened that lighted a fuel behind Billy's powers and sent him into action. This is where we learned of his powers, water kinesis and invisibility.  Plot & Pace: The plot revolved around Billy having extraordinary powers but wants nothing more to do with his super life anymore.The pace moves at a steady pace as the readers are introduce to Billy, on how he spends his days now after retiring his superpowers.  Structure/setting & Imagery: I was introduced to the important background, information about the setting, great characters, dialog, background details, along with great descriptions, and narration. Favorite Lines: "Billy Donovan couldn't help but sigh. It was all over. Years of fighting, bickering, and squabbling were now in the past. A small tear trickled from his left eye and slid halfway down his cheek before it danced down onto the grimy bar that he rested his elbows on. Despite the layers of sticky alcohol, the tear managed to pirouette and prance with such elegance that Billy almost smiled. Almost. And then, after one final leap and twirl, Billy made a flicking motion with his thumb and index finger and it almost looked as if the tear took a bow before finally joining the rest of the sticky liquids on the wooden bar top. Overall Impression/Conclusion: This paragraph was well written with great descriptions. Actually it made me smile reading it. How this story went unnoticed amazes me.  WriteOn!  Thank you for sharing your work with us! Jeannie Cheering for Martel    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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