Notes:
First and foremost, I really liked this story. It’s quirky and I mean that in the nicest way. Makes we want to know where he “skipped” to next. There was no problem keeping up with what was going on.

I have added a line-by-line review. Hope it helps.

***Somewhere, not in space time (hyphenated) neither heavenly nor hellish, something, not solid neither based on carbon, silicon, nor iron, placed its creation on a spinning disc. It deftly laid a needle on the outermost track, (no comma) and observed.
***A shaking as in a(n) earthquake woke me. I was strapped in a seat. In front of me were large glass panes framed in steel. … Next to me, on my left, was a moustached (spelling) man piloting a plane.
***The pilot was yelling at me, but there was no sound. A large black cloud appeared to the left and with it a shocking world of ear splitting (hyphenated) screams, explosions, and all the thuds and cracks of a damaged plane. The familiar smell of charred wood and bodies ripped open invaded the cockpit.
***Rising from my seat, I went to the back of the plane. Jagged holes crisscrossed the fuselage. Blood, guts, (no comma) and dead men were floating on water red with blood. Out of twenty (comma) only three were alive and unharmed. Their eyes were bright with fear.
***“Sarge, I see a farm house. (one word) over there. We might find some food.”
***We splashed through the knee deep (hyphenated) water and reeds and climbed onto a muddy road that led to the farm house. (one word) We were on an island. The Jerries had broken the dikes and flooded the surroundings.
***The Jerries didn’t see us, (no comma) and proceeded to the farm house. (one word) Disembarking near it, they were met by an elderly couple, apparently, the owners.
***The worried and puzzled look on the man made (hyphenated) me take off my helmet and introduc (spelling) myself. “Hello, my name is Aaron, and we’re British soldiers.”
***“Henry’s me (this should say “my” but I wasn’t sure if you were going with some type of accented speech) name.”
***Lovely, that’s when I learnt learned their names.
***When I woke, Liam was standing over me. “I’ve brought a pot of tea and a scone for each of you. Light is in the east(ern) sky. Don’t leave anything behind.”
***All day we’d been hearing, seeing, and smelling destruction from that way. Now, it was obvious the Canucks had won. Five boats, half way (one word) across the bay and filled with Jerries, were retreating our way.
***Feeling sick, I looked up. Thin white smoke was trailing the plane. Someone slapped my back. “Good shooting.” Then, he grunted, (no comma) and fell into the water.
From:

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Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland]  (E) Collect treasures, complete tasks, and win the golden Apple.. #2267246 by GERVIC 🐉 WDC Dragon Vale

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .