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Review #4663773
Viewing a review of:
 The Machine (299 words)  [E]
Cleaning up while cleaning up Dad's stuff
by LouLearning
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hallo!
This one showed up on Random Reads. I enjoyed the story, you built it up 'well' *Wink*, and I was happy that the ending was happy - not scary or disappointing!

Suggestions:
1. In your brief description, you've repeated the phrase 'cleaning up' - was this deliberate? It seems to be required only once.
2. You could pick more genres, to give this story more exposure on site.
3. You could look at using writingML, like font, size and line-spacing, to make it easier on the eye.
4. While the story works as is, I'd be curious to know how much time had lapsed between when you first found the machine and when it began to work for you. That's a bit unclear in the story. Was it moments? Hours?

Thanks for sharing this intriguing tale!

Write On!
Thank you Maryann!
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   *CheckG* You last responded to this review 07/12/2022 @ 11:27am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4663773