*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4665473
Review #4665473
Viewing a review of:
Gary the Gnome  [E]
1st Place - The Lair - June 2020
by QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham
Review of Gary the Gnome  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
So I visited
FORUM
Anniversary Reviews  (E)
Celebrate Writing.Com member account anniversaries with reviews. GPs and exclusive MBs.
#1565040 by Annette
and found it was your anniversary!!

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


I popped into your port and found Gary the Gnome!

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Gary and Gnome is kidnapped and goes on the adventure of a lifetime.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the whimsical feel of the story. Very fun and heartwarming.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person from Gary's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: rural travel/tourist places

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Gary

Gary wants to go home. If I was him, I would too. If anything I thought that Gary just remembering the spell was a bit too convenient and I might have had him find a piece of trash with the words, or a maybe he overheard two other gnomes talking about the spell.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A lighthearted story that is fun to read.
StephB for the Angel Army
Angel Army Review Bear
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4665473