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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4670785
Review #4670785
Viewing a review of:
 
Dancing in the Earthlight  [13+]
Short story. "I'd just like to see you, red hair aflame, dancing in the earthlight."
by Kåre Enga in Montana
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am an official judge reviewing your story for
 
SURVEY
Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest  (E)
Use the music provided to inspire your writing!
#2002964 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The narrator and a red haired friend travel to Portugal.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the prose. I felt the story danced to it's own rhythms and pace.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

Narration drives the story. "I don't care -- anywhere" vibes as dialogue, used strategically, makes a point.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Portugal

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Unnamed narrator

There's enough here to understand the motivations. Their adventurous heart takes them to another country to discover. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML. The prose was easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The story captures the essence of the inspiration well. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/12/2022 @ 5:42pm EDT
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