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Review #4672253
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Elfin Dragon-finally published ,

I am reviewing your poem for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade [E]. *Delight*

Overall Impression:

This is a poem about who and what has helped shape you over the years, into the person you are today. There are many influences throughout our life that affect us to a greater and lesser extent - our family, our occupation and, indeed, our faith. I found this to be an interesting topic, and one that I can relate to.

I liked that you didn't just mention those who came before you, but the younger generation as well. I know that the birth of my niece changed me - I want to set a good example for her. She'll be 10 years old in a few months' time, and I am very proud of her.

A major influence on your life is your faith, and I find that understandable. Our faith affects us in many ways and helps us be the people we aspire to be, through good times and bad - it's a constant to hold onto, and our prayers can be a source of comfort and reflection.

My own relationship with God is not always what I'd like it to be. I have questions, and doubts. But I've never given up. Never let go. I hope that, one day, it will be as strong as yours.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has an easy rhythm and flow. Well done! *Smile*

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, dear author. I hope that you'll find them helpful!

Stanza 1:

*Snow2* In line two, 'Parents' should be parents.

General Suggestion:

*Snow2* In some places in your poem you allow the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. In others, you do not. I suggest a slight edit for greater clarity and consistency, and I'd opt for, indeed, letting the capitalisation depend on the individual sentences. That would perfect the overall reading experience.

My Rating:

This is a pleasant, gentle poem about those who guide us through life. I found it to be an enjoyable read.

I had a couple of suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! *Smile*

Kit

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