*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4674572
Review #4674572
Viewing a review of:
 Parallel Worlds and My Childhood  [E]
The Parallel Worlds experience from my perspective
by Dhammika Weerasingha
Review by Joy
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Dhammika Weerasingha

Here is a review for your "Parallel Worlds and My Childhood.

Comments and Observations:

Well, who wouldn’t in their childhood want to create a time machine and see the sights unseen by mankind? I think as an introduction to your article this idea works beautifully.

Yet, the article is so much more than a time-machine fantasy. It turns into a serious assessment of one’s own life through the years.

This is my favorite quote from your article: “After traveling through many ages through time, we will finally meet ourselves as entirely different people. It will be hard to comprehend that we would still be the same people then.”

I agree that we’ll find out we’re not the same exact people who started out and changed more or less along the way. Parallel worlds idea would fit in nicely here, should you want to expand this this piece. That you especially touched and mentioned your experiences as a time traveler without a machine is heart-warming as well as it makes this reader think about her own voyage through time.

If I may make a small suggestion, if at any time, you would wish to write your memoirs, this piece, after a revision and expansion, would make a brilliant first chapter. If only because the idea behind it is so attention-getting.

I also appreciated a lot the ease of your tone and the serious in context but chatty language you have used in writing this article and especially how you stretched the time machine idea to shed a light on your or anyone else’s life journey.

As a reader, I would have liked to read more about what you have to say on the subject, although I understand that an article can only be so long. I wish you would consider enlarging this piece. It has so much more potential than just being an article.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

I saw no serious problems in this area.

Best wishes with your work.

Joy sig for Angels-by Kiya


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/22/2022 @ 10:50pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4674572