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Review #4685924
Viewing a review of:
 
The knot in the handkerchief  [E]
A 172 words long flash fiction about a knot in a handkerchief
by Evie 🏳️‍🌈 write&blog
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello there, Evie 🏳️‍🌈 write&blog ,

I noticed that you've only been with us (WdC) for a couple of months, so please allow me to say WELCOME! I hope that you grow to love it here as so many of us do. Don't ever hesitate to reach out if you have questions either.

Well, I spotted this short piece of yours on the Newsfeed post and was intrigued by the title and description line.

I read through the story pretty quickly and read it again, slowly and more thoughtfully. I recognized that the character was not quick to accept assistance; wanting to try and solve the problem/dilemma him/herself. But when ready for help - there was none to be found.

It made me feel as though this story could be a fable; a short story that teaches a moral lesson.


*Coffeep* Suggestions:

I kept trying to untie the knot in the handkerchief he had given me. I waved it off, “No need.”
Instead of 'I waived it off' did you mean 'I waived him off'? In this sentence, it implies the handkerchief and him implies waiving off assistance from the man.

Same here: I continued to try to decipher the letters. I waved them off, “No need.”
Them implies waiving the letters off, as opposed to him (the man).

Suddenly I heard a voice.
A comma is needed after the word suddenly; an initial adverb.


*Coffeep* Closing Comments:

As I said, this is an interesting story and I enjoyed reading it. I would love to know what the words on the handkerchief were. Sharing that information with the reader would offer some resolution to the story and explain the moral if any.

Very creative and enjoyable. Keep writing.


Thank you for sharing your work.



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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/08/2023 @ 11:43am EST
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