Oh Jaya, I loved reading this. Now, I'm going to pick your "Scent of the Rain" apart in review, to study, to learn, to further appreciate, and to offer my idea of ways to improve, if that's possible.

Title and Appearance on the page: Title should be capitalized, maybe even made bold. It needs to stand out and draw the reader in. I'd play with this title a bit, it appears "throw-away", or an afterthought. I don't know if I would stop and read based on this title, which would be a shame because the poem is so well written. The poem itself appears neat on the page, not too long, not too short. This, I am compelled to read.

Form: Written in 5 quatrains with a single line tail. Not end rhymed but some internal rhyme and alliteration, with no apparent metric or syllabic pattern. This not Free-Verse.

Texture, word choice, rhythm, sonics: The poem is not consistent in its tense. The first three stanzas begin in past tense, caused, cleansed, stood, lingered.. Then you kind of confuse the two tenses, sprouted, springing it should either be sprouted, sprung or sprouting, springing, I think. This is really picky. Just being super thorough for future review of my own work and I might even be wrong but I don't think so. Stanzas 4 and 5 continue in the present tense until "pleased" present tense would be pleasing. The tail is in present tense.

The rhythm of the lines has a nice fluidity and I love the sonics of the piece. internal rhyme, steady, heady and the wonderful alliteration throughout.

Suggestions: It really is fine the way it is, not many would take a critical eye on this poem. But if it were mine, I would bring the whole poem into present tense. This is just one person's opinion, use what serves you, ignore the rest.

What I liked: As said above, loved sonics of this poem. Especially this line "tossing their striking heads like sprightly kids". I really enjoyed this poem.

Thanks for this delightful read.

~~Tink








My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .