Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

Thanks for entering.

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

After a series of operations, Eternity St. Claire discovers she can see the future. But can she change it?

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the pacing of the story. The quotation inspiration ties into the ending and really brings home the essence of the story.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited by Eternity. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good use of dialogue tags.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "As the waitress squeaked away in her white sneakers." The visual is succinct and uses a good economy of words.

SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that could be clarified just a tad more as it's either modern day or near future, I wasn't sure.

CHARACTERS

Eternity

There's enough here to understand her motivations. After a serious of accidents, she's forced to seriously examine her self reflection. It's a time of growth for the character.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctution mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I enjoyed the story and Eternity makes for an intriguing character. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.