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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4705180
Review #4705180
Viewing a review of:
 Wings  [E]
an allegory for autism.
by Alex Tessler
Review of Wings  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Alex Tessler !

Your biographical monologue caught my eye and since I'm looking for folks to review for the Tour de Ports challenge, I decided to read it and give you a review. I hope you find it encouraging and helpful.


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:

*Bulletg* You wrote an emotional allegory based on your own challenges that I enjoyed reading.

*Bulletg* You engaged my interest well and kept me reading to the very end.


*Bulletg* While I didn't fully understand it all, I felt a great amount of empathy for you and your struggle.


MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

*Bulleto* I don't think I have autism but I have also written about living alone in the woods. And sometimes my heroines and heroes have wings too.

*Bulleto* It sounds like you've had a very difficult time with people's perceptions of you and dealing with the challenges of autism. My heart goes out to you.

*Bulleto* I really admire your bravery in sharing all this about your struggles and challenges.

*Bulleto* The ending was an interesting observation and way of looking at things.



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger.

*Bulletb* In this sentence, I think you have a little typo. I think one word is just missing an apostrophe. Right now it looks like this: "It hurts more because someone told me I was hurting when I'd already learned to tell myself I wasnt." I believe "wasnt" should be "wasn't." So if you decided to make the change, the sentence would then look like this:
"It hurts more because someone told me I was hurting when I'd already learned to tell myself I wasn't." Easy peasy to fix, should you decide to do so.

*Bulletb* These are just my opinions and suggestions. Feel free to take what serves you and ignore the rest. I really do mean well and wish you every success. *Smile*


CONCLUSION:
*Bulletv* You wrote a moving biographical monologue piece that I enjoyed reading. Well done!

*Bulletv* Thank you for sharing your writing and experiences with the Writing.Com community!


May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler




*** WDC Angel Army Review ***
Reviewed by The Angel Army!


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