Hello Jay O'Toole !

Your personal poem caught my eye and since I'm looking for folks to review for the Tour de Ports challenge, I decided to read it and give you a review. I hope you find it encouraging and helpful.

Your poem was featured in my "read & review" area today at Writing.Com. I enjoyed it so I decided to give you a review. I hope you find it encouraging and uplifting.


INITIAL IMPRESSION / OVERVIEW:
You wrote a lovely New Year haiku / senryu poem that I enjoyed reading.

You engaged my interest well and kept me reading to the very end (granted, this isn't hard with a haiku poem but some people manage to lose me on the first line!).


MORE DETAILED FEEDBACK:

I totally agree with this statement of yours: " Just because we disagree, doesn't mean that we should demonize the "other side" and really don't understand why it isn't the norm for relating with people. We can respect each other regardless of our stances on almost any topic.

I also hope we haven't reached the point of being beyond caring. And I agree that the possibility is scary.

As someone who just served as a co-leader in a "decluttering Olympics," I absolutely agree with this statement: "Stuff in itself is not evil, but it can become a burden, or even a taskmaster if left uncontrolled." Too much stuff gets in the way. And a lot of that stuff people aren't using could benefit others.

I appreciated your succinct conclusion statements and thought it was a great way to wrap up your editorial opinion piece.

I didn't notice any spelling mistakes in your editorial opinion piece.



IDEAS TO MAKE YOUR PIECE STRONGER:

In the spirit of helpfulness, I have one little suggestion to make your piece stronger.

I'm not sure what's going on with this sentence? Maybe it's missing a word? It's not your intention to what? Say something? "It is not my intention to How many congressmen and Senators have been in office for 20+ years?" I'm guessing something there got deleted and there were more words after "to" and maybe the capitalized "How" was meant to start a new sentence?

These are just my opinions and suggestions. Feel free to take what serves you and ignore the rest. I really do mean well and wish you every success.


CONCLUSION:
You wrote an interesting editorial opinion piece that I enjoyed reading. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your writing and ideas and opinions with the Writing.Com community!


May love, joy and peace be yours in abundance!
PWheeler




*** WDC Angel Army Review ***







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .