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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4710197
Review #4710197
Viewing a review of:
 Tomorrow  [E]
A poem that came to me as I was thinking about what to do after I graduate.
by Mindertwenty
Review of Tomorrow  
Review by intuey
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Mindertwenty Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* An inspiring, short poem about realizing we have the power to take control of our destiny. At least in the direction we want it to go.

*Balloon2*
Title and Description -

*Penr*
Theme/Subject Matter:- Great title. It drew me in, curious about the writing. The description made me want to read on.

*Flower1*
Characters - The main character is the author. It shows the positive outlook he has on life. *Heart*

*Flower3*
Emotion/Impact: - The piece left me inspired. Such a nice, positive emotional impact.

*Balloon4*
My Suggestions - I only have a few minor suggestions. I hope they help. *Smile*

*Reading* Tomorrow is so far away,
But that seems like yesterday.


No comma is needed after away.


*Penp* The hours blur in what seems a minute,
I need to slow time down.

Try reading this suggestion out loud, and see if you think it helps the flow:


The hours blur into what seems a minute.
I need to slow down time.


*Bookstack2* Until today I felt I could reach for the stars,
But I’d surely have one by now.

No comma is needed after stars.

*Penv*
My Favorite Part: -Until today I felt I could reach for the stars,
But I’d surely have one by now.


I especially love the part: But I'd surely have one by now.
Such a romantic notion.

I also really enjoyed the ending:


It’s time to take the initiative,
To take the reins myself,
The future is mine for the taking.

Very nice! *Delight*

*Peng*
Summary:I truly enjoyed your writing. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

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