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Review #4710219
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of where's he going  
Review by intuey
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello ziggerzaggle Happy WDC 23rd Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with. *Smile*


*Reading* This is a poignant piece of prose that really made me think. I truly enjoyed reading it, and find it quite interesting. *Smile*

*Balloon2*
Title and Description - I like the title. It matches the prose perfectly. It drew my attention and made me want to read on.

I'd capitalize the first letter of each word

You should use the description to give a brief explanation of what your writing is about. I think it would draw in more readers.

*Penr*
Theme/Subject Matter:- It's about a teen traveling throughout life.

*Flower1*
Characters - The reader gets to know the character well through his thoughts of those and the things he comes across in his walking travels.

*Penb*
Originality/Creativity:- I love the originality of this piece. Quite creative!

*Flower3*
Emotion/Impact: - It truly gave me pause and made me stop, think and reflect. *Smile*

*Balloon4*
My Suggestions - These are just a few of my thoughts and suggestions on your writing. Please use are discard them as you see fit.

*Bookstack3* thighs. outside the window,


Capitalize the O in outside.


*Penbl* bird, spotted through

bird, was spotted through


*Reading* waiting on the world

waiting for...


*Books1* but of course he thought

comma needed after 'course'


*Reading* remembering times that he

remembering times when...


*Penr* talked at him.

talked to...


*Bookstack* permanent, purposeful.

permanent, and...


*Reading* his back, listens

his back, and...


*Peng* to adjust. when people

Capitalize 'when'


*Books2* hurt yet, he's more

hurt yet, and...


*Reading* Of course he's not gonna

Comma after 'course'


*Books5* no problem. In reality

with no problem. In reality,


*Reading* brooklyn{c}

Capitalize Brooklyn

*Peng*Summary: I truly enjoyed reading your prose. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

*Quill* KEEP ON WRITING ON! *Quill*

*Heart* Intuey

A signature for WDC Angel Army


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