%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4710867 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| Hello Blank  Hapoy WDC Birthday! This is a review on behalf of "Angel Review Forum" [ASR] This is only my views. Please use or discard as you're comfortable with.   Nice writing about a person sitting to think about what words to pen to paper. How well will the muse kick in this time? Title and Description - Nice title that caught my attention. The description urged me to read on. Theme/Subject Matter:- The writer's relationship with their muse.  Characters - The writer who sits and quiets his/her mind to let the muse come in and work their magic. Originality/Creativity:- Nice creative writing about a writer and their muse. An original take on something we all wish would spend more time with us.   Emotion/Impact: - As a writer/artist it was easy to relate to. My Suggestions - I have a few suggestions. Please use them or discard them as you see fit: Sometimes, I like to sit.Sit, and think about you. Sometimes I like to sit Still and think about you. The comma isn't needed. Instead of repeating 'Sit' try showing the action of sitting.  Instead I turn to write,Drowning, in white pages: Filling the lines with ink. Ink, expressing my Muse. Instead, I turn to write, Drowning in white pages. Filling the lines with ink Expressing my Muse. A comma is needed after 'Instead'. The comma isn't needed after 'Drowning'. Replace the semi-colon with a period after the word 'pages'. I'd lose the comma after ink and delete the repeated word 'ink'.  I’m not ready, for love.The comma is not needed. Becomes unsteady, held-Only, by your arms. And I can only watch. Becomes unsteady, held Solely by your arms, And I can only watch.  Is only, in my mind.Romanticized by my head, Delirious from hurt. And I turn my head down, Back to the white pages. Writing, writing, writing. Is only in my mind Romanticized by my head. Delirious from the pain, I bow my head down Back to the white pages  My Favorite Part: -I love the nice strong ending. It's easily relatable. Summary: Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. I enjoyed it.  KEEP ON WRITING ON!  Intuey   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 09/07/2023 @ 5:38pm EDT