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Review #4713072
Viewing a review of:
 Haiku #2  [E]
Haiku #2 - 1/19/07
by BriBo
Review of Haiku #2  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
I found Haiku #2 to be Funny with its brevity and wit. I’d like to comment on the poem and how it could be even better.

Keep in mind, there are tenets with the haiku other than syllables. It’s usually two lines about nature and a final line like a summary, or pay off to enhance a deeper appreciation of the writer’s experience. In essence, that might be applicable here.

The poem titled "Haiku #2" is a concise and straightforward exploration of the fleeting nature of short-term memory. It adheres to the traditional haiku structure of three lines and 5-7-5 syllable counts, which is a commendable aspect of the poetic effort.

What's Good:
Structure and Syllable Count: The poet successfully maintains the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure of a haiku, which is essential for this form of poetry. This adherence to the form provides a clear and recognizable framework for the reader.

Theme and Concept: The theme of short-term memory and its impermanence is relatable and thought-provoking. It touches on a common human experience of forgetting something that has just occurred, which adds a relatable dimension to the poem.

Clarity: The poem is concise and to the point. It effectively conveys the concept without unnecessary embellishment, making it easy for the reader to understand and connect with the theme.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Title: The title "Haiku #2" is rather generic and doesn't offer any insight into the poem's content. A more descriptive or evocative title could draw readers in and provide a hint about the theme or message of the haiku.

Imagery: While haikus are often minimalist, incorporating vivid imagery can enhance the reader's experience. Adding sensory details or specific visual elements related to memory or forgetting could make the haiku more evocative.

Metaphor or Symbolism: Consider incorporating a metaphor or symbolism related to memory or forgetting to add depth and layers of meaning to the haiku. This can elevate the poem beyond its surface observation.

In summary, "Haiku #2" effectively adheres to the structure of a haiku and touches on a relatable theme. To improve, the poet can work on an engaging title, introduce imagery, and potentially incorporate metaphor or symbolism to deepen the poem's impact to resonate with readers.

I always enjoy reading and reviewing this poetry form. It’s fun to see what other’s attempt and the many gems of knowledge dropped I gather along the way.

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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