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Review #4714017
Viewing a review of:
She Lives   [E]
She chooses to live
by Delia
Review of She Lives  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Delia ,

Based on the text provided, it appears that the label "opinion" for the article "She Lives "  may have been misapplied. The text reads more like a work of Christian fiction or a narrative rather than an opinion piece or commentary. It should be recategorized so readers know what they come to see, might draw more readership. I will adjust my review to focus on this as fiction.

The story revolves around a fictional character named Blanca and her encounter with Jesus, conveying a message of faith and spiritual transformation. And because of this, it does not seem to express your personal opinions or give commentary on a particular topic, but rather provides a fictional story with a Christian theme.

"She Lives" offered a Christian-based narrative that explores redemption, spiritual thirst, and the transformative power of encountering Jesus. It appears to me this story is well-structured, with clear character development and a strong focus on conveying a message of faith.

However, there are a few areas where clarity and accuracy could be improved. If I might point out and suggest for adjustment:

1. Clarity:
In the paragraph where Jesus tells Blanca about the living water, there is a bit of confusion regarding the pronouns. It would be clearer if it were stated explicitly that Blanca's thirst is not a physical one but a spiritual one. This would help readers better understand the significance of Jesus' offer of living water.

2. Further Clarity and Typo:
There is a typo in the sentence: "Balance frowned as she replied." It should be "Blanca frowned as she replied." Also, in that same paragraph, I discovered there’s a slight inconsistency in dialogue tags. It switches from "Blanca replied" to "Blanca replied" without a break there, which can be confusing to readers, breaking their focus on story.

3. Clarity and Character Perspective: The transition between Blanca's internal thoughts and the narration could be smoother. Like lwhen it says, "Knowing she was not understanding that her thirst was not a physical issue, Jesus said," it might be more effective to show this through Blanca's perspective, such as, "Blanca realized she was missing the deeper meaning, but Jesus continued."

Overall, "She Lives" effectively communicates a Christian message of redemption and spiritual awakening through Blanca's encounter with Jesus. The structure is well-balanced, with good character development and dialogue that conveys the transformation Blanca undergoes. However, address the mentioned areas for clarity and consistency and you will would enhance the reader's understanding of your fiction’s narrative.

"She Lives" successfully explores its theme of spiritual thirst and the redemption through a Christian perspective. This narrative has hidden potential to be an even more impactful and inspirational piece of Christian fiction with attention to some of the suggestions provided.

Thank you very much for this. A pleasure to read and lend comment.

Brian
Super Power Reviewer
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