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Review #4714021
Viewing a review of:
 A Tale of Two Blues   [18+]
A spoiler of two characters in Growing Embarrassment.Specifically Eve and Barbara.
by Goodvibes
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Goodvibes,

I've had the opportunity to read your short fiction piece titled "A Tale of Two Blues "  that you categorized firest as ‘other’ and as supernatural, erotica. Here's my review, along with some observations on notable elements in your tale:

*BulletBr* Genre and Themes:
Your story effectively blends elements of the supernatural and erotica, creating a unique and intriguing atmosphere. The supernatural aspect, particularly the transformation of the protagonist, Eve, adds depth to the narrative. Themes of isolation, hope, and curiosity are subtly woven into the plot, making it more engaging.

*BulletBr* Hook and Pacing:
Your story starts with a captivating hook – the description of Eve's unique and challenging condition immediately draws the reader in. The pacing is well-managed, with a gradual build-up of curiosity about Eve's situation and the mysterious "blue ball."

*BulletBr* Character Development:** Despite the limitations of a short story, you manage to establish distinct characters. Eve's predicament and her interaction with Thalia provide insight into her emotional struggles and her desire for connection.

*BulletBr* Dialogue:
Your use of dialogue is effective in conveying the characters' personalities and building their relationship. Thalia's attempts to communicate with Eve and Eve's internal dialogue add depth to the narrative.

*BulletR* I noticed a few grammatical issues that could use your attention, outside of misplaced commas and such.
Errors that could be corrected for smoother reading:

1 - "shuffled her neck" should be "shifted her neck."
2 - "leave the immobile girl" should be "leave the immobilized girl."
3 - "Eve's teeth chattered inside her mouth" might be clearer as "Eve's teeth chattered within her fleshy prison."

*BulletG* Overall Read and Takeaways:
A Tale Of Two Blues is thought-provoking and engaging short story. It successfully combined elements of the supernatural and erotica while exploring themes of isolation and hope. Your characters are well-defined, and their interactions contribute to the story's emotional depth. The narrative, however, leaves this reader with questions that intrigue, as to Eve's condition and that mysterious "blue ball." *BulletB*

It's a story that lingers in the mind, and the juxtaposition of the supernatural and emotional elements makes it a compelling read. You effectively engaged this reader with a unique premise and well-executed themes. With some minor grammar and typo corrections, it can be an even smoother and more compelling read.

Keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Best regards,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer
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