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 Review #4714049 |
| (5.0)| Dear Charlie, I rediscovered your poem "Burrowers Beware" today (hiding in my review tool  ) and finally circled back round to it to offer my reaction with some feedback. This poem explores the theme of emotional suppression and the toll it takes on an individual's psyche. The style is quite distinctive, with short, fragmented lines that reflect the fractured emotions and thoughts of the speaker.One noteworthy aspect is how you’ve used repetition, particularly the phrases "Like so" that appear multiple times. This repetition serves to emphasize the pattern of emotional suppression and the learned behavior of the speaker. It effectively conveys the idea that there has been some internalized patterns from someone else. The imagery in the poem is vivid and evocative, especially in lines like "all hazard signs, / dry, cracked, barren," which paints a stark picture of emotional desolation. The metaphor of freezing and thawing layers adds depth to this poem, symbolizing the cycles of emotional suppression and release. I had some additional thoughts to share as suggestions that might help further improve the poem, if needed: Clarify the Speaker's Voice While the poem effectively conveys the emotions and patterns of suppression, it could benefit from a clearer sense of the speaker's voice and perspective. Providing more context about the speaker's experiences or feelings could help intone message so readers may further connect on a deeper level. Expand on the Resolution The poem ends with a description of emotional barrenness, but it would be beneficial to explore what comes next for the speaker. Does the thawing signify a potential for healing and growth? Adding a few lines to address the aftermath could create a more complete narrative. Maybe, I’m the obtuse one who kissed something. I try something’s and whoosh! Over my head. okay, I have a two emoticon limit. Moving forward. Consider Line Length Variation While the short, fragmented lines contribute to your poem's style, I thought introducing some variation in line length could create a more dynamic flow. This variation could help guide with a certain rhythm to the read, just as the structure shows, and further emphasize key moments in the poem. I found this to be thought-provoking that searches deep into the impact of emotional suppression. Its unique style and vivid imagery made it a compelling piece. With some adjustments to provide further clarity about the speaker's voice, perhaps expand on the resolution, with an eye to experimenting with line length variation (maintaining visual structure — we can get restrained by form, at times), this poem has potential to become even more powerful in exploration of its theme. I like trying to show and flow; it’s like singing with an instrument. I need practice. You’ve got a better handle o this stuff than me. Glad I finally got back to this. I’m learning as I read, deconstruct and review. Hope the thoughts benefit. Sincerely, Brian Super Power Reviewers    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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