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Review #4714284
Viewing a review of:
  Profound  [E]
What popped in my head one day.Have no clue why.
by pamela
Review of Profound  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear pamela

I had the privilege of encountering your poem " Profound"  today, and appreciate its evocative imagery and exploration of profound experiences. Here are my thoughts on the poem, along with some suggestions for improvement.

Your poem's style is concise and to the point, using short lines to convey a sense of urgency and intensity. The repetition of words like "piercing," "profound," and "life" adds emphasis and rhythm to the verses, effectively drawing the reader's attention.

The theme of seeking deeper understanding and enlightenment is clear and relatable. I experience this as a purpose of writing, whenever these words flow from my fingers. I can feel or sense the writer’s process in this way.

One suggestion for improvement is to expand on the imagery and metaphors used in the poem. You can go deeper with describing the shadows, waves, fog, and mist to create a more connected experience for the reader. For example, consider adding sensory details that evoke the sensation of these elements. How do the shadows feel? What is the sound of the crashing waves? How does the mist taste or smell? By engaging more of the reader's senses, you can intensify the emotional impact of the poem.

Another suggestion is to provide more context or narrative to clarify the speaker's journey toward profound understanding. Why are they seeking answers, and what motivates them to want to "know all the answers" and "become mist"? Providing a glimpse into the speaker's personal experiences or struggles can help readers connect with the poem on a deeper level.

And, consider experimenting with the structure of your poem. While the short, fragmented lines work well for conveying urgency, you might also explore variations in line length or stanza structure to add visual interest and enhance the flow of the poem. Sometimes, it’s just reading it aloud that helps formulate that structure. You could use longer lines to slow down the pace and offer moments of reflection within the poem.

I find "Profound" has potential, by showcasing a desire for deeper understanding and insight. Expanding on imagery, giving some added context, and experimenting with this structure can enhance impact for your followers and create something they fully relate with and respond to.

My best to you,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer🌟
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