I, being a hopeless romantic, love this love is greater than ANY obstacle story.

A favorite bit: "The forest around us seemed to hold its breath as if it too were witnessing a momentous event." I love that you gave consciousness to the forest and that it too, respects the power of love.

Suggestion: Remove the comma after breath. It is not needed.

I like the messages embedded in the following bit: "Slowly, the Selvaris clan members, once resolute in their ancient ways, began to welcome us with a mix of curiosity and a newfound openness. It marked a transformation not only of my physical form but also of their perceptions and attitudes toward outsiders." . . .

1. Sad, it took the protagonist's transformation "to be one of them" for the clan to see her worth. But I love the curiosity it spurred. Can you imagine the value, growth, possibility, and discovery we'd experience if they (and all of us in real life) embraced the curiosity of differences more readily and openly?

2. I also appreciated that it opened them to the "perceptions and attitudes toward outsiders."

Suggestion: You could add this piece to Emotional and Supernatural.

Suggestion: Consider keeping the entire piece in the third-person perspective. Because I was curious how "you" could see what was going on with Eirik and the clan leader when "you" while running through the forest. (Enter shoulder shrug emoji here.)

Overall, I enjoyed this piece and would have enjoyed more development, and I would like to read more.

Write passionately,
Cyndee



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .