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Review #4720948
Viewing a review of:
 
Square Rose  [E]
Freedom vs dependency and independence
by Val
Review of Square Rose  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello Val,

"Square Rose" unfolds as a poetic tapestry woven with intricate threads of independence and dependence, each stanza a brushstroke on the canvas of human connection. Your choice of imagery and metaphor creates a rich and evocative landscape that invites readers to explore the delicate dance between freedom and interdependence.

Stylistically, your poem exhibits a unique blend of vivid imagery and contemplative introspection. The opening lines, "Independence / Is the free fall of amber tenuous and pale autumn-leaves," immediately set a tone of reflection on the transient nature of autonomy. The use of autumn leaves as a metaphor for independence introduces a poignant visual element, capturing the fragility and temporality of the theme.

The form of your poem, with its distinct sections devoted to independence and dependence, provides a clear structure for readers to navigate the nuanced exploration of these concepts. The transition from one section to the other is seamless, mirroring the fluid nature of the themes being examined. This structured form allows for a focused examination of each facet, enhancing the overall impact of the poem.

Poetic devices, such as metaphor and personification, play a pivotal role in conveying the complexity of the emotions and ideas presented. The thorned wreath around an innocuous rose becomes a powerful metaphor for dependence, invoking a juxtaposition of vulnerability and beauty. Similarly, "to unclench the monarch-butterfly in your lips" employs personification, transforming a simple action into a symbolic gesture laden with emotional resonance.

The theme of interdependence, woven throughout the poem, adds layers of meaning to the exploration of relationships. The imagery of angels dancing and a man turning into a statue to hold a fallen leaf on his shoulder evokes a sense of shared humanity and interconnectedness. This theme reaches its zenith in the lines "We are interdependent angels / or else / why would a man turn into a statue," underscoring the inherent need for connection in the human experience.

For suggestions, consider experimenting with varied line lengths to create visual and rhythmic interest. Strategic line breaks can emphasize key ideas and guide the reader's attention. Additionally, there’s the possibility of incorporating more sensory details to enhance the reader's immersion. Descriptive elements related to touch, scent, or sound could deepen emotional resonance of your poem.

It was a pleasure to have discovered your poem (and a new writer in our community) in one of the more recent poetry newsletters.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC Angel Army Reviewer
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