%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4722091 |
 | Writing life  [E] Let’s talk writing  |
| (4.0)| A WDC Power Review Hi Olivethepoetess .I'm JACE - House Targaryen , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Writing life" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. First, welcome to Writing.com. I've been here for more than 15 years and I still find it a wondrous place. I'm certain you will too.I'm still learning my way at reviewing poetry--I prefer essays and short stories. So, I couldn't pass up your monologue. Great job ... so far. I feel like you have more to share. Remember, this is, or should be, about you and your writing journey. That said, I've a couple suggestions below that might help tighten your monologue.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. Regarding your first sentence: This is my first piece here, I have always been passionate about writing and guess what life has offered me, writing.com. It's too long, and as written, seems to need more than just a period. Suggest: This is my first piece here. I have always been passionate about writing, so guess what life has offered me--Writing.com! Again, your second paragraph is one very long sentence that would have more impact broken into two or more sentences. Try reading your work out loud. When I did that, it sounded awkward to hear. It's my favorite editing technique.  My Rating. 4.0. Yours is an above average offering that needs just a little effort to be great. Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
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