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Review #4722977
Viewing a review of:
 This is what I've become  [E]
This is a very dark poem I wrote back when I was going through a very hard time.
by Underground_Man
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WDC Power Review


Hi Underground_Man .

I'm JACE - House Targaryen , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "This is what I've become" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I selected your piece to review precisely because of the subject matter, only from the opposite standpoint. I was unable to help my now ex-wife because of my inability to understand what she was going through. I'm never experienced depression and didn't know how to even begin to help--at least help on my own. We both had to get professional help. That helped us maintain a more even keel until our divorce some 15 years later. We remain friends.

She tried to explain what she felt. Some of your phrases were similar indeed. I know the pain was there but was unable to help.

In your disclaimer you state anyone in this situation should seek professional help. I hope you did.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* I usually refrain from commenting on free form formatting because of its very nature.    

         *Bullet* However, I noted one typo:  emplore should be implore.  

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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