%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4723353 |
 | Suitcase  [E] What I was left with when you left with the rest of my life.  |
| (4.0)| A WDC Power Review Hi Lou-Here By His Grace .I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Suitcase" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. A heartfelt and poignant look at a broken heart. I've always admired people who can work through the grief of a lost love by pouring those feels on a page. Of course I've had my share (perhaps then some) of heartaches. And while writing is a true passion for me, I'm unable to pen that ache into submission. Thanks for sharing.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. While I seldom comment on things like grammar and punctuation in poems--often a poet breaks such rules for sake of expression--I stumbled over your final stanza while reading. I understood what you were trying to say. But I had to re-read it several times to see it. My problem was use of the word "rebuild". Your thought left me hanging. Rebuild to me signifies looking to the future. I know ... my problem.  My Rating. 4.0.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You have not yet responded to this review.