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Review #4724561
Viewing a review of:
 You and Me  [E]
The little things of marriage.
by StellaAmbrose
Review of You and Me  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WDC Power Review


Hi StellaAmbrose . Greetings. I found your offering on the Read & Review section.

I'm JACE - House Targaryen , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "You and Me" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Yours is a very short free form poem, nicely written. However, may I suggest a couple things to clarify and emphasize what I believe I read?

One doesn't have to capitalize the first letter of each line, especially in a free form style. To me as a reader it signifies each line is complete, which I don't believe is your desire.

I would place a dash after 'me' and place 'I am loved' on its own line for more emphasis. After all, this is your main point, isn't it?

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Discussed above.    

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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