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Review #4724679
Viewing a review of:
 WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING  [E]
whisper in my ear young son..
by njames51
Review by JACE
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hi njames51 .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "WHEN I AM OLD BEYOND REASON DYING"  in honor of your WDC anniversary.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Thank you for sharing this tender offering. It's easy to see the emotions displayed are real. Mother's love returned by her boys.

I noted your use of a color font. I wonder what the significance of using blue was.

It may just be a nit-picking point but your description indicates one son and your poem (fourth stanza) states 'both' boys.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* One typo:  passon (second stanza)  should be passion.

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering, and I look forward to seeing you around in the coming year. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.

Reviewed by
JACE

A new Anniversary Review signature to use, courtesy of [Link To User legerdemain]



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