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Review #4725886
Viewing a review of:
 Season's Lament  [E]
Tis the season, despite the weather.
by Richard ~ Shenanigans INC.
Review of Season's Lament  
Review by JACE
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WDC Power Review


Hi Richard ~ Shenanigans INC. . Your offering came up on the Read & Review section.

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Season's Lament" .

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I liked your title, and was hooked by your first lines. I like all things about snow, and the cold. No problems with your first stanza, except as noted below.

But I got a bit lost with your second stanza. I didn't see how what you wrote related to the Season or Lament. Your form is good.

When I first joined WDC, I would have agreed with your note--that I don't usually write poetry. But I now believe that anyone can. I've made good inroads to that end. I believe you have the chops to as well.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Watch your meter, the number of beats per line. A five-first line, four-second line is pretty standard. This meter is easy to read. That said, suggest:   but now I'm too old.   now I'm too old.

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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