*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4732698
Review #4732698
Viewing a review of:
 I’m scared  [E]
The inner workings of a young mind trying to make sense of his life.
by Drake Gillian
Review of I’m scared  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You’ve given us a lot to digest here, and I will start with formatting. I understand the poetic license involved in making this monologue be one solid text block, and I’m not going to tell you exactly at which points to break it up into easier paragraphs. But one thing you should definitely consider to improve the readability across devices is to use size 4 Verdana font. Poetic license is no excuse for creating something valuable that’s a pain to read.

Formatting aside, this intricately tangled web of concerned contemplations about the meaning and purpose of one’s life is fascinating. It flows from thought to thought logically enough, and honestly I relate to the young man’s existential crisis a lot myself, as crucial decisions loom and yet I’m paralyzed with panic and uncertainty. It seems that he struggles with lethargy, apathy and inertia, knowing there are things he wants to accomplish yet holding himself back with doubts and fears about the potential values and trade offs.

If this is autobiographical, I extend my sympathies for your mental woes. I know how it feels. What one should do is start by setting small manageable goals, avoiding distractions and not taking on so much that it would be overwhelming. But that’s easier said than done!

I don’t have any further specific suggestions for improvements, since this is so deeply personal. It reads well, expressing honestly the feelings within.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Smile* *HeartG*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4732698