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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4734904
Review #4734904
Viewing a review of:
 Homecoming  [18+]
Breaking the bro code (dating an ex). A Weekly Quickie entry.
by Jeff
Review of Homecoming  
Review by Dawn Embers
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi there Jeff

Thank you for entering one of the rounds in February for Weekly Quickie contest. I appreciated the entry even though it was a month with very few of them. It's always hard to judge how a prompt will go and I know I get wordy in them... Anyways, thank you for the entry with the Ex Mess.

First Impression: This was quite a good Ex Mess situation for a Quickie. I liked that for this particular one, you stuck more to the romance side of the contest instead of the erotica. Seems like a wise decision in this case. Sure, it will get erotic later once they make it past the stairs but for this moment, the reader gets a nice bit of romance.

Prompt: This one does work well for the prompt. While we don't get a lot of the friend part, we get enough information to know that there is a friendship but also a stepping over a sort of boundary. Not sure how the friend will react but that's for a much later scene, if it ever develops more.

Characters/Story: It is kind of interesting that a decent number of stories include a character who does photography and/or photojournalism. Even in the type I read, I've seen a few. One included guys who did the travel thing along with wedding photos and stuff for members of the BDSM community. Others take a different approach as to what they get from the career or if it's a distraction. Granted, we only get a little information into the character in a quickie but it does give an interesting twist and helps make it believable that he was able to hold back by keeping his distance in that way.

Other Notes: Overall, you did a good job with the writing. I often can easily enjoy the stories you create with your writing approach and voice. We get at least some character and story while having the limit under word count requirements. Nice job and I hope the characters get their happy ever after.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Keep Writing!


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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