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Review #4736473
Viewing a review of:
 The Day She Became an Old Woman  [E]
Part of an "Observations" series.
by Colby Parson
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi Colby Parson .

I'm JACE - House Targaryen , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Day She Became an Old Woman" , which I found on the Read & Review feature.

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Yours is such a short item to foster so many questions. As a reader, I found myself being drawn into your story. And then it ended. I wanted more.

Was there a contest or prompt that limited the number of words you could have?

Is this the start of an actual longer story that you plan in the future?

Your item description is not much help. What is the Observation series? The description should really entice your reader to read your offering.

All that said, it really does speak to the current nature of social media. I often wonder why I remain on it. Oh yeah, I joined at the request of my wife. I've noted that since I joined FB, I'm much more cynical -- much like those 25, perhaps.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. I found no problems here.

*Star* My Rating.  3.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature



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