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Review #4737045
Viewing a review of:
 Lost Days  [E]
A 500 word Dialogue
by Sumojo
Review of Lost Days  
Review by JACE
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
An Angel Army Review


Hi Sumojo .

I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Lost Days" . I found your offering on the Read & Review feature. Some of you folks come here a lot. *Wink*

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. Since I just finished a Short Stories newsletter about punctuating dialogue, how could I pass up the opportunity to review your item?

For the most part, your dialogue is punctuated correctly. But there are a couple spots that need attending. Read your piece carefully and I think you'll find those errors. I posted a couple below. I did note that you used the English version of single quotation marks for punctuation.

One factual error: the Gregorian calendar--called that because Pope Gregory VIII is the one who caused the change to happen--was implemented in 1582, not 1852. Just a dyslexic mistake.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* Your first line needs a period inside the end quote.    

         *Bullet* Delete the period and second end quote.   And anyway that gives an extra day and ten days have gone missing!’.’  

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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