%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4740742 |
 | Happenings at a Haunted House  [18+] Two boys try to solve a mystery at an abandoned old house.  |
| (4.5)| Hello Jimbo! This review is given on behalf of "Game of Thrones" . This is a fabulous story. You started with a strong opening and continued to hold my attention all the way through. The twist ending was well done and unexpected. I loved it!You painted the relationship between these two boys as reality-based as possible. The friendship between the two seems like they've known each other for years. The friendly banter that goes on between them shows the strengths and differences between the two, and which one is the 'leader' of their little duo. I enjoyed the plot of the story and watching as it unfolded. The suspense of the story was nicely paced. The story is enhanced with it being at Halloween time, and the first visit to the haunted house being cut short by the fear of running into another person, unexpectedly. The setting is well done and enabled me to envision each scene as I read. I do have a few suggestions. Please use or discard them as you see fit.  I'd add the category "Action/Adventure" to your other two genres. Or "Drama". The more genres you have listed, enhances your chances of increased views, as many search for items to read by genre only. waived his hand waved his hand  fourteen year oldfourteen-year-old  moment however,moment, however,  face firstface-first  belly laughing belly-laughing  setting sun begunsetting sun began  put up is poleput up his pole  Flannery told him he seenFlannery told him he had seen  Of course I don’t mind going tomorrow, if you don’t,”Of course, I don't mind going tomorrow if you don't,"  creature laidcreature lay I hope the suggestions help. I truly enjoyed your story. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!  Intuey"When you play the Game of Thrones you win, or you die." Cersei Lannister  The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.