*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740904
Review #4740904
Viewing a review of:
 
The Feline and the Rodent  [13+]
Might also be called the Cat and the Rat.
by St. Francis II
Review by Kit
In affiliation with Kit's Contest and Awards G...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi St. Francis II ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+]. *Smile*

Overall Impression:

This is a very interesting poem. It's not for the faint of heart, because it contains quite a bit of gore, but it certainly gave me cause to reflect.

I am someone who loves cats but, yes, I have often wondered why they play with their prey. Or, not all cats, I should say. I've had cats and met cats who'd happily sit surrounded by birds, not a threat to any smaller creature at all. Some, though, behave in ways that we humans perceive as cruel. It's understandable when an animal hunts to eat, but they do at times seem to lose interest.

I liked how the rodent at the end stands up to the cat. That he asks the questions he and his kind - and we as the reader - would like an answer to. We do not receive the answer, as the cat did not care to respond. He just continued to do what he does. It's up to the reader to continue to ponder why.

Why is the world made up of predator and prey? Life feeds upon life. Cruelty runs through human veins, too. How did it end up like that? We may never know.

On the technical side of things, this poem has a wonderful rhythm and flow. Good rhyme, too. All in all, I am impressed!

Suggestions:

I only have the one comment/suggestion, dear author. I hope that you'll find it helpful!

Stanza 2:

I rightfully praised the rhythm and flow of this poem in the section above. Upon first read, however, I slightly stumbled over this line:

*Snow2* Aimless does the little Rodent wander, small and grey;

The beginning of the line, up to the comma, reads and flows nicely in connection with the previous stanza, but then the 'small and grey' part seems to jump and stumble (I don't know how else to describe it, sorry). I am not entirely certain why this is. Its syllable count is in line with the rest of the stanza. Perhaps it's the comma? It feels like it ought to be there, but perhaps it would be better off in the middle of the line. Maybe something like, Aimless does the rodent wander, and then a description of that rodent? Just a reflection. It's your poem and you may have had a specific rhythm in mind!

My Rating:

This is a fabulous, creative poem. It gave me plenty of food for thought.

I did have one suggestion but, frankly, that may just be my reading of it and I don't have the heart to give this anything less than a 5 out of 5. So I won't.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

House Lannister image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/01/2024 @ 7:48pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4740904