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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741048
Review #4741048
Viewing a review of:
 Six word memoirs  [E]
I feel tired writing this
by Ddraig
Review of Six word memoirs  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Ddraig

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

The tone and voice of this piece are great. You give the reader a clear sense of the emotions you're feeling and it keeps the reader interested throughout. Tht writing style also definitely places into the "nonsense" genre; there's an ambiguity and confusion to the events being depicted that's the hallmark of "nonsensical" types of writing.


*Penw* Suggestions

Even though "nonsense" writing is supposed to be a little confusing and quirky, there were some elements of this item (such as the title "six word memoirs" and the reference in the first paragraph to "thinking about six" which I think need just a little more explanation in order for the reader to make the connections they need in order to really identify with this piece.

Additionally the "I am just bored right now" line doesn't seem to match with the others in the work. Boredom is usually viewed as a negative mindset and one that contrasts with the rest of the piece which almost seems to embrace the sleepiness and the lethargy of what's going on. It was a little difficult to tell whether the boredom was a good or bad thing (to your narrator) and some clarity there would help the piece immensely.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. It's interesting and quirky and keeps the reader intrigued all the way through the end, but in order to make it truly a standout piece of writing, I think a little tiny bit more context is needed so that the "nonsense" still has a common thread or throughline. But I think you're off to a great start!


Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


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