This is a Game of Thrones review.

Hi aracrae,

Welcome to our community! I am happy you found our writing site where we emphasize reading and reviewing each other's work. Chapter seven of the book you are posting was the item listed on Read & Review which is located on the left side of the page. This is a main source reviewers go to. You will see that on the left panel of your screen called the navigation panel. The best way to learn to navigate is to click on GETTING STARTED at the top of the page. If you have any question just ask.

Now on to doing a review of your story. The first thing I did, after noticing this appeared as a chapter in a book, is go back and read Chapter One where the characters are introduced. It gave reading this chapter make more sense. You did a great job on developing the characters there.

I like the way you use narrative and dialogue which kept me engaged. The watchdog's description is alluring with the way you suggest the effect he is having on Bel. Very creative to describe "that skippy thing". What you don't explain is left to the imagination. For example, talking about what this man would find in the nightstand kept me guessing until it is revealed. You tell a lot of details while still allowing the reader to think, which is a valuable writing skill You have a great way of building up anticipation with just the right amount of sexual tension.

I enjoyed the way you write with dialogue interspersed with Bel's thoughts, which guided me in each action he took. It moved the story along, in addition to being a window into the characters. The phone call with his siter, for example, gave you a clear picture of their close relationship.

I was pleased to see there are no mechanical errors. That is a plus when I read and review. The genres you selected will direct readers with the same interests to your book. Those are important and the ones you selected are perfect. I plan to come back, as time permits, to read the chapters I have missed. I recommend your story to anyone. We don't always rate writing as perfect, but I see no reason to take any portion of starts away. I am rating it 5 stars. Keep writing! You are super at the craft!

Write on!
tracker

GROUP

WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E) Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills! #1300305 by Maryann

FORUM

Game of Thrones  (13+) Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st #456789 by Gaby ~ Quiet contemplation

Disclaimer:The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .