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 Review #4742005 |
 |  | The Mother's Day Gift  [E] Entry for Writer's Cramp Contest. Mrs. Oura worries about her son Skip.  |
| (4.5)| Hallo Legerdemain ! I will be reviewing your work "The Mother's Day Gift" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: Written for a challenge/contest, this is a short story about a mother who is terribly concerned about her son's odd behaviour lately. She voices her concerns and wonders what he could possibly be up to, but with his unforthcoming responses and not seeming to be too bothered about it, the end result is a heartwarming surprise that brings her to tears. Can we say 'the perfect' Mother's Day gift, ever? Pluses:I'm a sucker for good dialogue and considering the nature of the characters in this story, you did a great job portraying their physical attributes without really saying what type of animals they are. Well done! Mother's concern is obvious as she stares helplessly at what her son's doing, while Papa considers it as just a 'phase' that he will grow out of. Hah, and they said humans and animals don't have that much in common. Fortunately, the mystery is solved come Mother's Day when our 'naughty' boy presents a wonderful gift; giving us an idea of why he was so adamant and persistent in creating so many holes around the place. I'm guessing Mom will forgive him anything now after such diligent work. Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >>“You don’t think he’s a little crazy (,) do you?    Aside from my little nitpick of a missing punctuation mark, this was a heartwarming and wonderful short story. I notice it's geared toward children as well, so kudos! Personally, I find it hard to write in this genre, but you pulled it off quite well as you know your audience and how to keep their attention. Thanks for sharing your story with us and keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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