Greetings iKïyå§ama-House Targaryen !

I am currently reviewing as part of the tasks set by the "Game of Thrones" . I found your piece on that enticing note you just posted few minutes ago "Note: Happy Sunday, Folks! As most of you might hav...". This one caught my eye, though I'll certainly be reading all the others on the list as well.

In this review, I mainly focus on the positives of your piece and I may point some Areas for Improvement if found any. Without much a do, here are the things I noticed after delving deeper into the contents:


This story, "The Chat", offers a captivating glimpse into the complex dynamics of a family road trip. It paints a vivid picture of the sweltering heat, the bickering siblings, and the weary parents struggling to maintain order in a cramped and unreliable car. The protagonist, Amy, seems resentful of her situation and envies the carefree joggers outside. However, amidst the chaos, she clearly holds a special power over her younger brother, Jack.

The heart of the story lies in the mysterious "chat" that Amy uses to control Jack. This undefined threat hangs over the narrative like a dark cloud, adding tension and intrigue. Readers are left wondering what Amy tells her brother that leaves him so terrified and compliant. The climax reveals the unexpectedly mundane origin of this tool – a panicked bluff after Jack accidentally witnessed Amy with her secret boyfriend. Yet, the story leaves a lingering sense of unease; Amy's nonchalance in exploiting her brother's fear suggests a more manipulative streak beneath her seemingly typical teenage angst.

The writing is effective with descriptive language that evokes the sensations of the oppressive heat and the claustrophobia of the car. The dialogue is natural and reflects the believable tensions within the family. However, the story would benefit from further development of Amy's character. While her actions are intriguing, her motivations and personality remain somewhat opaque. Nevertheless, "The Chat" is a well-crafted short story that leaves the reader both satisfied and wanting more. Thank you so much for sharing this Kiya! Truly, a beautiful work. Write on!


Best regards,
Gervic