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Review #4742999
Viewing a review of:
 Unholy Happy Hour  [E]
A 3 way POV about a priest, a clown, and a cowboy walk into a bar...
by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen
Review of Unholy Happy Hour  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Review of Unholy Happy Hour by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen

I feel slightly cheated. Halfway, through, I was convinced that you'd had the rather brilliant idea of fleshing out an old joke with more detail, only to find at the end that you were winging it and there was no joke at all. And yet there was (and I think it was on me). The whole thing is the joke and I have been led up the garden path by the nose. Excellently done, indeed.

The point is that you know how to write. You pitch the tale very accurately at its target audience and the slightly over-the-top descriptions are the main part of this. At the same time, you allow us to get to know the characters rather more than we do in the usual jokey tale. It's a most amusing and impressive in performance.

There is one slight flaw in the piece, however, and that is all to do with time. You deal with each character in the order in which they enter the bar. It goes clown (he is already there when the priest enters), priest, and cowboy ("Then... in swaggered a cowboy.) But then, in the cowboy's POV, we get this: "First walked in a priest." It made me do a double take and go back to check the order. Doesn't figure.

It's not enough to spoil a thoroughly enjoyable little story, however. Five stars from me.

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