*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743084
Review #4743084
Viewing a review of:
 
The Coffee Monkey  [E]
Our morning coffee - with a little help from the animal kingdom (485 words)
by foxtale
Review of The Coffee Monkey  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*
*CakeB*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

I’m so sorry, I almost completely forgot about this review request! Thank you for asking.

An enjoyable, folksy anecdote about your family and the morning coffee routine. I don’t see a whole lot to correct, though perhaps “It was a puppy and we are its first owners,” could be reworded so that the tenses agree. Also, it’s a bit of a ramble… there isn’t a whole lot of “point” to it, as we wonder if it will be a satirical sort of story or simply a lighthearted anecdote. But not all tales have to have a “point…” I guess I’m thinking of the oft-repeated short story triad of “goals, stakes and obstacles,” which doesn’t really apply when telling a “front porch” personal memory. It was fun to read, and I can’t think of anything to say that you should change.

Morning coffee, kids and dogs is a universal and relatable sort of experience, and we can all chuckle at your “training” as a dutiful husband. I’m glad you have a satisfactory marriage. A word count would be nice to have in the subtitle, as this looks like it counts as a “flash” story. Formatting is excellent; perhaps you should underline the title heading.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/09/2024 @ 8:05pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743084